I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
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