If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
