Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
