God, you're like boner-b-gone
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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