so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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