Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
