I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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