I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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