So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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