is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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