we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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