She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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