Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
