im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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