belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
