i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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