you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
