Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
