i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
You smell like stripper and shame
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
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