She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
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I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
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Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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