We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
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