I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
