i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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