I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
