you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
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martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
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My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
false alarm, still single
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