It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
