after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
We don't watch enough power rangers
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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