You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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