I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize