You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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