i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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