you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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