Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
