I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
