Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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