you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
