K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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