We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize