We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
