When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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