two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
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