Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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