wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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