dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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