i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
