around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize