Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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