her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
