THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
