YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
handjob tips. give me some.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
