We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
