I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
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Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
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I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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