she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
