The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I bet he comes in French.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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