apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
