no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize