Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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