I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
And then my night got REAL pukey
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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