like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
