Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
love makes seman taste better
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
