The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!