The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
