Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
