You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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