stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
