it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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