i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
